by Jaybelle Mataro
As the month of February crosses the threshold, along comes the feast of St. Valentine. This popular “Day of Love” never fails to bring couples for their intimate time together to express their love and affection to each other.
But Edwin Valles, president of Courage Philippines, paints a unique meaning to Valentine’s Day owing to the fact that it was the day he became a member of the Catholic Church group and completely reformed his life, totally in love with Jesus Christ.
“Aside from the secular significance of February 14, ‘yung Valentine’s Day, mas importante to me ‘yung February 14 kasi my anniversary in Courage. It was actually February 14 when I got interviewed by one of the officers in 2014 so it means a lot to me,” Valles said.
(Translation: Aside from the secular significance of February 14, Valentine's Day, February 14 is more important to me because it’s my anniversary in Courage. It was actually February 14 when I got interviewed by one of the officers in 2014 so it means a lot to me.)
Courage Philippines is a Catholic apostolate for people with same-sex attraction by providing safe space to the community.
“Courage Philippines is the Catholic Apostolate for LGBT (lesbians, gays, bisexuals, transgender) persons. It’s a spiritual support group,” Valles stated.
Alyssa Saludo, a proud bisexual woman said that she did not know about the association.
“I do not know Courage PH,” Saludo said, but she also felt good learning about the Church group.
“For me, I think it is good to have [a] Church group for the community since it is important to have representation in a community. It makes us feel acknowledged and validated,” she added.
Valles stressed that the Courage is a diocesan clerical public association, meaning it needs the local bishop’s permission before it can be established in a particular diocese.
“’Yung structure niya within the Catholic Church is that it is a diocesan clerical public association. So by diocesan, dapat may obispo na maga-approve ng setting up of Courage in that particular diocese,” he explained.
(Translation: The structure of [Courage] within the Catholic Church is that it is a diocesan clerical public association. By diocesan, there should be a bishop who will approve the setting up of Courage in that particular diocese.)
Moreover, priests provide care and support for the LGBT community in the organization.
“It’s a priestly apostolate. It’s actually the priests who are the ones providing spiritual support to LGBT members,” he added.
To promote a good place that protects the LGBT persons from discrimination, Valles pointed out two points— safe space by the Church and safe space by the parents.
Safe Space by Church
In many instances, the Catholic Church is widely stereotyped to be prejudicial against the gay community, but Valles says it is simply not true.
“Oftentimes, the Catholic Church is perceived to be walang pake (indifferent) or discriminatory towards LGBT persons, but that’s wrong. [It’s] fake news. In fact, within the Catholic Church, there’s an apostolate that seeks to provide spiritual support for the growth in the lives, spiritual lives of LGBT persons who are Catholics. [It’s] Courage Philippines ‘yun,” he claimed.
In this light, Saludo debunked the false concept that spirituality and homosexuality are like oil and water together.
“People always assume that homosexuality and spirituality are things that do not go well together. You cannot be homosexual and spiritual at the same time because a lot of people think it is contradicting. However, this is not the case. No book written thousands of years ago can dictate who we are and who we can be. As a Catholic, I believe that God’s love is powerful and great that we cannot make it exclusive only to those who are heterosexual,” she highlighted.
Further, Valles clarified that the core of Courage is a sharing meeting that bestows a welcoming environment to the members of the LGBT community.
“Ang Courage kasi ‘yung core of the apostolate is a sharing meeting eh. In the sharing meeting, what it seeks to provide is a safe space for LGBT persons to openly talk about their same-sex attraction struggles in a safe environment among other fellow LGBT persons,” he said.
(Translation: Courage’s core of the apostolate is a sharing meeting. In the sharing meeting, what it seeks to provide is a safe space for LGBT persons to openly talk about their same-sex attraction struggles in a safe environment among other fellow LGBT persons.)
Without a doubt, Valles is confident that the community would not feel misconstrued in the spiritual support group because they come across the same endeavors.
“By providing that safe space, ‘yung LGBT person can openly talk about their struggles without feeling misunderstood or judged kasi lahat ng nagshe-share doon ay kagaya niya,” Valles enunciated as he recalled how they comfortably share their troubles and worries in the group as he himself experiences same-sex attraction.
(Translation: By providing that safe space, ‘yung LGBT person can openly talk about their struggles without feeling misunderstood or judged kasi lahat ng nagshe-share doon ay kagaya niya,)
“Just like my Courage brothers and sisters, I continue to experience same-sex attraction. I am as much a recipient of the care and support that the Church provides through the priest in Courage,” he added.
Saludo agrees that having a Church-based group that you have can rely on is salient in assuring a safe environment to the queer community.
“It is important to have a spiritual support group for the LGBT community because we need a safe space where we can share God’s love without being judged,” she enunciated.
Safe Space by Parents
Truth be told, the way parents mold their children greatly exerts influence in the growth of the individual. Thus, parenting is crucial in securing a wholesome environment for their child who has same sex attraction. Valles says there are three pillars of good parenting— cognitive, behavioral, as well as affective.
“Pag pinag-uusapan kasi natin ‘yung good parenting, what we need to understand is mayroon siyang three important pillars. Para siyang legs in a tripod,” he stated.
(Translation: When we talk about good parenting, what we need to understand is there are three important pillars. It’s like the legs on the tripod.)
The first leg is the cognitive component which encompasses everything that concerns the mental abilities of a person.
“There’s the cognitive pillar. ‘Yun ‘yung (That is the ) role ng (of) parents to cognitively form their children to have all the intellectual, rational capacities,” he explained.
The next component is the behavioral component where parents teach their children how to act or conduct oneself towards other people.
“There’s the other leg on the tripod which is the behavioral component. It is the role of the parents to form their children to exhibit good behavior,” he expounded.
Further, Valles throws light on the last pillar, the affective component, which is commonly left unnoticed compared to the two components.
“There’s a third leg na (which is) often overlooked or not given as much attention as the cognitive and behavioral formation. That third leg is the affective formation,” he said.
Affective formation makes sure that the child effectively grows and matures emotionally, psychologically.
“It’s basically making sure that the emotional needs of their children are adequately addressed at every given point in their life. Diyan na pumapasok ‘yung [There comes the] sense of safety in the family environment at every given point in the life of a child,” he explained.
Saludo agrees that the emotional support an LGBT person like her receives at home is very crucial.
“My mom knows I am bisexual and she’s okay with it. It was hard for her at first, but she eventually accepted me,” she said as she looked back on how her mother reacted to her coming out.
“I just explained to her that I am still me. I am still her daughter. My dreams are still the same. I am not hurting anyone,” she added.
With her mom being supportive, Saludo felt that her emotional needs were satisfied.
“After she accepted me, she has been supportive, and she talks to me when her friends are going to the same thing. I am thankful that she made me feel like nothing has changed,” she recalled.
Church groups that establish a welcoming environment to LGBT brothers and sisters like Courage encourage more people to live a faithful life in line with God’s will.
Safe space is not just about having a literal protection against harmful surroundings. Safe space is also about having people around where you can comfortably be yourself without having any doubts.
In 2015, Pope Francis decided to have lunch in a prison in Naples. Among the prisoners the pope had lunch were homosexaul and transgender people and HIV patients. Addressing them, he said:
"Sometimes it happens that you feel disappointed, discouraged, abandoned by all: but God does not forget his children, he never abandons them! He is always at our side, especially in trying times; he is a father "rich in mercy" who always turns his peaceful and benevolent gaze on us, always waits for us with open arms.”
The work that Courage does and the testimonies of Valles and Saludo shows the embracing arms of the Church to all people, regardless of their sexual orientation. It is like the arms of the loving Father waiting for his long lost prodigal son to come back home and be with his family forever. We are all children of the Father. And it is in this way that Courage provides the welcoming environment, free from all types of prejudice, to nourish the lives of all its members under the watchful and caring eyes of the Church.
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